Dark Desires
by JoeBoBean
Summary: In theory they should hate each other, but they can't. Each will sacrifice anything for another wish that will keep their paths entwined for eternity. Yaoi warning, but nothing more explicit than some passionate kissing and well a little bit of biting... with fangs. I use the romanticised spelling for Fay's name, because I think it looks prettier.


_AN: I will admit it hands down I am a total Kuro-Fay fangirl. I can't help it, there is something intrinsically appealing to their antagonistic yet; 'we are of the same age so should act civil' relationship that I can never get enough of and the nicknames oh the nicknames! Also loving CLAMP's beautiful artwork animated I am a huge lover of Tokyo Revelation's and watching the whole showdown with clone & real Syaoran and that tiny frame where Kurogane's hold on Fay tightens by a tiny degree speaks volumes of the care they really do take of each other when one of them is down. This one was written after watching Shunraiki where in a lecture at Uni I was struck by an idea due to the sacrifice all the characters go through. Oh and I wish I were part of CLAMP or at least could seal them in a room and keep them forever. I would also at this point rule the world and make everyone read CLAMP and the world mascot would be Mokana and everyone would have one! Anyway please enjoy. xx_

* * *

"Kuro-buro," Fay said suddenly to the dark room and Kurogane grunted his affirmation that Fay could speak again. "Why did you do it?" With his new heightened senses he could see Kurogane's face darken more than it normally was. He sighed and lay back down, he had long since resigned himself to his fate and was, what he could even call happy, but he had never asked why and that was something that still bothered him. He knew somewhere deep inside it bothered Kurogane too.

"I couldn't lose you," Kurogane said in the barest of whispers, "It was my wish to have you saved. I paid the price that's all." He lifted his mechanised hand, "Like this too, I wanted to make sure you stay by my side." He coughed utterly self conscious, "I've come to care for you" Fay was lost for words, normally he would have thrown out a sarcastic comment and Kurogane would become animated as his anger bubbled beneath the surface, but he was so totally sincere that Fay couldn't say a word; he could barely breathe. He sat up in bed slowly and looked at the back of the warriors head and decided that he could say the same, he had become attached to Kurogane and even if he didn't want to admit it; he liked the closeness they had even if he tried to ignore it. "So are we going to do this?" Kurogane asked gruffly. Fay was going to ask what Kurogane was talking about when he felt it, the jolt through his system and the nauseous pain as his teeth changed and jaw widened to let the fangs form. He felt them bite in to his lower lip and whimpered; he hated this part. He moved off the bed in a flash and grabbed Kurogane's shoulders holding him still. He darted at Kurogane's neck and Kurogane felt the soft brush of the other mans lips and shivered slightly, he felt Fay move back and Kurogane grabbed his head and brought it back.

"I'm not scared magician. You need to feed." How could he always say it so simply, without fear? The rational side of Fay that still remained cried out in pain, but the blood lust took over and he took what his body so desperately needed. He sunk his fangs in to the throbbing vein on Kurogane's neck and felt him shudder; a sigh leaving his lips. Once again the rational side of Fay began to work and he was worried that Kurogane didn't seem to hate the sensation. He drew out his life and the more he did the stronger be became and the stronger the hand on the back of his neck was holding him close.

"I'm not letting you go until you are fully satisfied." the gruff voice said. Fay didn't know why but at the sound of Kurogane's deep voice speaking those words a blush spread across his cheeks and be became embarrassed. He felt the bloodlust ebb and began to pull back, but Kurogane would not let go, "Take it until you are full, I've said it before magician I am not scared of you, so take what you need until you are fully satisfied."

"I don't need to take anymore..." Fay whimpered licking the wound closed,

"You're lying," Kurogane spat back his voice filled with well restrained violence, "Take your fill magician… I don't mind." Fay looked at the warm skin in front of him the blood flowing just beneath the surface tasting of courage and strength, things that he always seemed to lack unless Kurogane was around, "Honestly I don't mind, it's the price I paid for saving you and I do it gladly!" Kurogane turned a tea red eye to Fay, "So please take as much as you need," he murmured softly. Fay chuckled,

"Who knew you could be so demure," he whispered kissing Kuroganes' neck with the softest of lips. He felt the blood flow beneath Kuroganes' skin and his stomach ached with hunger, he had thought he had sated it, the need for blood, but it was apparent even to Kurogane that he hadn't. This realisation stung a little because he thought he had been lying so very well. Leaning forward again his fangs pierced the skin and he felt the warm trickle of all that Kurogane was fall on to his tongue and then flow down his throat. It was heady and addictive, all warmth and compassion, all anger and despair. The contradictions were a perfect semblance of what Kurogane really was the truest version of himself that only Fay could see. Fay was scared that the amount he took would never be enough, that he wanted more; that he even wanted too much, but Kurogane never backed down, never said no and that in itself was a miracle that had Fay captivated.

He sucked down on Kurogane's neck until he was full and was worried that Kurogane may pass out. The price this time for Kurogane had been so much higher. It had been a long time since he had last fed, he had been putting it off and he knew deep down that Kurogane knew it. He could taste it and though he didn't really want it to it made him happy that Kurogane noticed and cared. His fangs went back in to hiding and he knew the feeding was finished. Fay licked the wound closed and felt the hand that was clamped around his neck loosen off so he could move back. He did rocking back on his heels to take in the large expanse of shoulders in front of him. He loved this view. It was comforting.

Kurogane heard Fay's shuffled footsteps and knew he had put distance between them he always did that; the repulsion at what he had just done being far too much for him to take. He put a hand to his neck and felt the two raised welts from the fangs healing once again to form soft, smooth skin. He sighed and stood silently not wanting to scare Fay and left the room glancing back only once to see Fay with his head in his hands, despair colouring the whole of his frame. Kurogane wanted to say something, anything to make Fay not look that way, but words he knew were not his strong point, so as to not cause Fay more pain he closed the door behind him and went to his own room.

* * *

"So magician," Kurogane said his tea stained eyes grave, "Are you ready"?" Fay shuddered, his yellow eye luminous in the dark,

"I won't!" he said curling in to the foetal position, "I would rather die."

"Are you sure?" Kurogane asked his calm voice masking the murderous anger that was flowing beneath the surface.

"Yes!" Fay said turning to Kurogane for the first time, tears falling from his eye, dying his hair a darker blonde. "Anything is better than this existence!" Kurogane growled and Fay heard a blade being unsheathed. He closed his eyes silently praying that his death would be quick by Kurogane's hand, just the way he promised it would be so long ago. He waited nothing came, he cracked his eye open the smallest amount and saw a white panel of cloth, as he opened his eye further he saw the snow white cotton being taken over and violated, by the deepest and most delicious of reds. He sniffed the air and could smell the salty iron tang and his eyes darted around to the tall figure before him finding the source. "Why?" Fay asked softly as he watched the cut of Kurogane's wrist blossom with red; the colour flowing up the sleeve of his shirt as well as spill the other way on to the floor. He looked in to Kurogane's face and saw it was ashen. "Why?" he asked again his voice strained.

"I own your life," Kurogane murmured coming towards the bed, "Only I can take it away! You can't beg me to do it! I'm selfish like that." he said falling on to the edge of the bed, "So please for me take your fill." Fay looked at him,

"I can't not from your wrist…" Kurogane held it just out of Fay's reach and saw him pounce closer. Fay's eye flashed in anger at being betrayed and played, but he couldn't deny he could feed, from any part of Kurogane if he needed to, but pride meant that he didn't want to have the taller stronger man see him so vulnerable.

"Come," Kurogane commanded softly. Fay moved across the bed slowly slinking across the mattress as soft and disciplined as the best of predators. He took Kurogane's wrist gently between his hands and raised it to his lips, he sucked gently on the wound and felt the energy pull. Kurogane swooned slightly and Fay was about to stop, but looking in to the red eyes before him he saw that Kurogane wanted this; he needed this as much as Fay did. He felt a hand in his hair gently running through the waves; the touch of cool metal made him shiver, but he moved closer in to Kurogane so that he was lightly resting against the other man's chest, through the thin material of his shirt Fay could feel Kurogane's heart beat, steady and strong sounding off against every draw he took from the vein.

"Why do you have to make it so difficult?" Kurogane asked in the barest of whispers. "Why don't you believe that this is what I want? What I would die to protect." Fay felt himself crumble in to Kurogane. No one had ever said those words to him before. He was hunted, hated. He was not something that anyone should care for least of all; a warrior like Kurogane. At his dismay his fangs retracted and he healed the soft skin on the other man's wrist, damn him for cutting it so deep. When the cut had finally healed he looked in to Kurogane's eyes that had once held so much anger and hatred at the world and now saw they were filled with a compassion and protectiveness that stopped Fay's breath.

"You take too much upon yourself," Kurogane spoke in to his collar softly, "You should share more, I'm here. I will always listen, so sometimes tell me." He ran his hand through Fay's hair again and then said, "So please don't cry alone, all to yourself. You aren't supposed to be paying for my selfishness." Fay heard a deep throaty sigh that started deep in Kurogane's chest and finally emerged from the thin almost cruel lips. It was a deep seated release of relief and Fay felt it envelop him to his very core. "You should really feed more often you know," Kurogane said in a gentle whisper that Fay had only heard him use on one or two occasions in all the time he had known him. "It is what I am here for after all." He smiled wanly in a way that had always annoyed Fay,

"It wasn't as if you could let me die though" Fay said almost bitterly.

"No I couldn't let you die," Kurogane murmured, "Although I know it repulses you and at every turn I force you." He put his head in his hands, one real and one mechanical and felt the hot tears slip between his fingers. He didn't cry often or at all really. He cried once at his mother's and his village's graves, he had cried out of sheer frustration at Tomoyo's betrayal when she had thrown him in to this mess. He had then cried out of joy because Tomoyo had thrown him in this mess. So in the total years of his life he had cried three times. He wouldn't claim that his life had been a particularly long one, not by a long shot when the magician was around, but it was long enough that this being only the fourth time he had cried made an impact. He sniffled a little hoping it wasn't loud enough for Fay to hear, but the other man heard it and before he could stop himself he had covered Kurogane's lips with his own.

He didn't feed often enough because he hated the intimacy of the action, he was showing Kurogane his weakness and letting him know he trusted him enough to know and understand it. He hated the heated need that set fire to his blood, but most of all he hated the fact that Kurogane didn't mind.

If Kurogane was surly about it all; it would be better, but he was so accommodating that it was infuriating. Fay found himself straddling the taller man's hips as he let his tongue dance around Kurogane's mouth. He felt Kurogane's hands as a feather light presences on his waist as he brought Fay closer to him and Fay felt himself moan. When he stopped for air he saw that Kurogane's eyes were hooded and warm and his lips were raised in a gentle, but all knowing smirk that Fay wanted nothing better than to wipe off his face.

"I wondered how far I would have to push you to make you do that." He said sounding more than a little proud of himself.

"I understand I need to feed," Fay whispered trying not to think about it,

"Not that," Kurogane murmured before he nuzzled Fay's neck making him purr. All Fay could smell when he breathed in was Kurogane; he smelt of metal, leather and the Arctic tundra and it was all Fay wanted. "I've been trying to tell you for so long that you don't disgust me." Kurogane breathed against his ear, "You never could." He finished as he nibbled at Fay's earlobe making him shudder, "You just never let me in." Fay couldn't think straight surrounded by all of Kurogane's strength and love and it made him hungry. His fangs slid out in to his mouth longer and sharper than ever before indenting his bottom lip. He could feel the raw power in them a second before he sank them in to Kurogane's throat and heard him moan in pleasure at the contact. At the sound and the way he cradled Fay to him it all became clear to the magician. He really had never been disgusted by him the restraint he showed was to not scare him. The concern for his well being warmed a place inside him that he had thought was dead for the longest time. He lapped at the warmth that flowed from Kurogane's open vein revelling in all that made him want to tease him, hate him and love him.

Kurogane fell back on the bed with Fay curled up on his chest his breathing getting shallow as the world turned dark, but even though he was falling in to the unknown of unconsciousness he was happy because for the first time Fay did not fear what he had become and that was all that mattered to him.

* * *

When Kurogane woke up he felt like he was surrounded in a blanket of warmth and as he looked down he saw Fay sprawled out on top of his chest caging him in spindly limbs and it made him smile. He ran his robotic hand though his hair separating the waves wishing for a moment that he could feel them, before he switched hands and felt the buttery softness flow over his fingers.

"Kuro... gane," Fay mumbled sleepily looking up at him with his crystal clear blue eye, "Maybe we should have a safe word," He said with a smile, "If I drink too much you pass out," He said sitting on Kurogane's chest with a gentle smile on his face, "And when that happens I fall asleep." Kurogane grunted not that he minded at all. He could think of worse ways to wake up, having Fay sprawled all over him when he woke counted as one of the highlights.

"Do you understand now?" Kurogane asked his voice gruff from sleep and Fay could feel his fangs wanting to grow at the sound of it. He wanted to deny what Kurogane was asking, but with his hands in his hair and Kurogane's scent all over his skin he couldn't.

"I think so," He replied hedging his bets and Kurogane growled before he captured Fay's mouth with his own and gently caressed his emerging fangs with his tongue. Fay was blinded for a moment by the pleasure of the contact, never in a million years had he thought that someone would be so accepting of his newly found state, but Kurogane the surly and almost perpetually annoyed warrior seemed as if he didn't care. It came crashing in to Fay like some unstoppable force and it left him empty and weak, yet oddly filled with hope.

"I never want you to doubt, my intentions," he growled against Fay's lips. "I never want to see you huddled in the corner like you can't stand what you have become because you are beautiful magician." Fay knew that he should be embarrassed about being called beautiful, but when Kurogane said those words he knew how much it was costing him to impart the information. Maybe the feeding didn't only leave him vulnerable. "I never want you to feed over my shoulder again as if you think I hate you, I want you to always be in front of me where I can see you clearly." He brushed his thumb lightly over Fay's kiss swollen lips before he added, "When you are hungry take what you need no matter when, I don't want to resort to extreme measures the next time." He smirked slightly as he sat up holding Fay to his chest. "What time is it?" He asked knowing he had entered Fay's room late in the evening.

"A littler after midnight I would guess," Fay replied and saw a distinct gleam and heat in Kurogane's red eyes that sent a thrilling shiver all over Fay.

"I'm glad about that as I have wanted to do this since you first fed from me." Kurogane said in hushed tones as he slipped the billowing sleeves of Fay's shirt off his shoulders and licked lightly at the papery thin skin of his neck making Fay hot all over. "You taste like summer rain," he mumbled as he rolled with Fay until he was trapped under the expanse of his body. Fay's breath caught in the back of his throat as he looked in to Kurogane's eyes and saw all the answers to all the questions he had ever wanted to ask the other man. From where all his strength came from to why he gave up on Tomoyo and going home. He had never realised that the person he was secretly envying was himself; Fay was the reason why he had given up everything else to stay on the road with him and Syaoran. He gulped passed the lump in his throat and licked his lips,

"I don't think I could ever doubt your intentions again," Fay said on the faintest of whispers as Kuroagne's fingers ghosted across his porcelain white skin making him shiver.

"Good!" The other man said simply and Fay could live with that as he wanted nothing more than to lie on the bed they had trapped in the cage of his strength and warmth as he was subjected to the most satisfying torture of his long life. Nothing had ever felt better than Kurogane's lips on his skin and he thought if this is what love felt like then he had been missing the most natural and visceral feeling of all. How had he survived so long without it? Because as Kurogane laced their fingers together and kissed the magician again he couldn't think living passed this moment without it.

"Finally you get it Fay," Kurogane said and Fay felt the happiness at that small gesture fill the whole of him with profound warmth. "Love that is freely given is the best price of all. I risked all of myself because I couldn't live without all of you." He nipped the warrior's lips between his fangs that had yet to recede and heard Kurogane swallow sharply and when he spoke his voice was thick, "I know this might disgust you..." He said his eyes hooded and hidden by his manic hair, "But please would you bite me?" Fay felt himself swallow as indecision devoured him from the inside. If he did this he would be making a commitment that he couldn't back away from. He would be leaving himself vulnerable in front of the only man that he never wanted to look weak in front of. He was also going to have his trust reciprocated, something that he had never truly felt before. His mind made up he slid Kurogane's hair off his shoulder and nuzzled at the warm tawny skin before he sank his teeth in to Kurogane's warmth and heard him groan with such intense relief that he could feel it resound in all his cells.

Even if he was betrayed further down the line he would not live without this feeling for a moment longer. As of this moment he knew why love and true strength were such sacrifices and he was more than willing to pay the price for it. Denying such a primal part of himself meant he wasn't living a full life and after being on the run most of his it Fay decided that for the moment at least he could afford to settle down and take the scenic route. As Kurogane cradled his head with such nurturing care he knew that finally he wasn't alone and that in itself was bliss. When he heard Kurogane murmur his name as if a litany he thought he had reached the height of pleasure, but it was quickly outdone when Kurogane bit down on his neck setting a chain reaction of sparks through him.

"Kurogane," he whimpered as he laid his head next to the other man's cheek,

"Hmm Fay?" Kurogane asked a gentle chuckle leaving his lips as Fay sunk his fingers in to Kurogane's short, but delectably soft hair,

"Whatever you do, just don't stop...ever." He managed to say as he kicked his head back at the intense thrill that passed over him as Kurogane explored his Adam's apple with his tongue.

"Your wish is my command magician," Kurogane said with dark humour, "Just know the price for this wish is your heart," He said his red eyes burning with such an intensity that it should have scared Fay, but instead it made him feel as if he had finally found home.

"I pay it gladly," Fay said bringing their lips together for a burning kiss that left the pair panting for breath. "Whatever I am is yours," he said looking intently at Kurogane with his one eye, wishing not for the first time that he had both of them to stare at the other man with. Kurogane smiled at him with such infinite tenderness that it shook him to his very soul and as he laced their fingers together; so he could kiss Fay's knuckles he felt himself losing another bit of his heart to the warrior before him.

"I know," Kurogane said lightly, "And all that I am; is yours to command and I wouldn't have it any other way Fay."

"Kuro-pon?" Fay asked with a smirk and got a satisfactory growl in return. He had never thought that love could really set him free, but as his heart soared at the look in Kurogane's eyes. He knew that for the longest time he had been wrong and for once he was more than happy about his error in judgement. Being held with such care was such a precious emotion that he couldn't have dreamed of before meeting Kurogane and he never, ever wanted to let go of. "Make me yours," he whispered against Kurogane's ear and felt the other man respond to the words,

"Granted," Kurogane said his voice rolling all over Fay's skin before making Fay's deepest desire come true.


End file.
